Taking Applications...
OK, so I have a confession to make. A dirty little secret. Call it my 'Guilty Pleasure' if you will.
I watch... 'The Bachelor' *gasp*
Yeah sure, I have a ton of other dirty little secrets as well... but I just don't know what it is that draws me to this thing. And as far as watching TV or DVD's or whatever... oh yes I do love me some good porn. Luckily I do not have the Playboy Channel or I may might never leave the house. I've seen some of the shows on there, damn, a lot of them are right up my alley!!! And my porn collection is quite nice, thank you very much.
But season after season I get sucked into this show. Maybe because they try to take the 'tasteful' approach and not succumb to the likes of various other attempts at reality dating... Shows like: Blind Date, Elimidate, Fifth Wheel, Temptation Island etc etc... where the bigger the disaster the date is, the better it is for us... or in the rare occurrence that the uh, participants go nuts for each other and practically have wild sex right in front of us. Not that I don't dig that either. But...
The Bachelor. 25 smokin' hot chicks to start with. One guy. How can you not like those odds? Sure sure he wants to find 'true love' blah blah blah. If it was me? You know I'd find a way to try and bang all 25 before the first night was done. Physically impossible? Probably. But I'm just sayin... have to give that car a test drive don't you? So why not make the first round selections based on things like, say:
1) Blow Jobs: Is she willing to give you one? How good is the BJ? Make you want to curl your hand up in her hair and guide her up and down... or does she use too much teeth? Things to consider.
2) Naughtiness Factor: Is she a straight lights out, missionary type of girl... or does she let you bend her over the couch, spank her ass and pull on her hair while you are ramming her from behind? I'm telling you, these things need to be out in the open before any final decision can be made
3)Open-mindedness: Is she willing to try new things, new positions, new toys, watch porn, make out with another hot girl, etc etc? Got to keep things hot and spicy.
So while the Bachelor tries very hard to keep it all respectable, you know this is what the dude is desperately trying to figure out in the short time he has.
As for me? I think I should do my own version of 'The Bachelor'. Just not end up with the whole married thing.
Maybe something like...
"The Friends with Hot Wild Kinky Benefits" show.
or hell, better yet:
"The Crazy Bitch Show"
Yeah, I like that one!
Ok... I am now officially taking applications... and don't worry, I won't kick anyone off ;)
I watch... 'The Bachelor' *gasp*
Yeah sure, I have a ton of other dirty little secrets as well... but I just don't know what it is that draws me to this thing. And as far as watching TV or DVD's or whatever... oh yes I do love me some good porn. Luckily I do not have the Playboy Channel or I may might never leave the house. I've seen some of the shows on there, damn, a lot of them are right up my alley!!! And my porn collection is quite nice, thank you very much.
But season after season I get sucked into this show. Maybe because they try to take the 'tasteful' approach and not succumb to the likes of various other attempts at reality dating... Shows like: Blind Date, Elimidate, Fifth Wheel, Temptation Island etc etc... where the bigger the disaster the date is, the better it is for us... or in the rare occurrence that the uh, participants go nuts for each other and practically have wild sex right in front of us. Not that I don't dig that either. But...
The Bachelor. 25 smokin' hot chicks to start with. One guy. How can you not like those odds? Sure sure he wants to find 'true love' blah blah blah. If it was me? You know I'd find a way to try and bang all 25 before the first night was done. Physically impossible? Probably. But I'm just sayin... have to give that car a test drive don't you? So why not make the first round selections based on things like, say:
1) Blow Jobs: Is she willing to give you one? How good is the BJ? Make you want to curl your hand up in her hair and guide her up and down... or does she use too much teeth? Things to consider.
2) Naughtiness Factor: Is she a straight lights out, missionary type of girl... or does she let you bend her over the couch, spank her ass and pull on her hair while you are ramming her from behind? I'm telling you, these things need to be out in the open before any final decision can be made
3)Open-mindedness: Is she willing to try new things, new positions, new toys, watch porn, make out with another hot girl, etc etc? Got to keep things hot and spicy.
So while the Bachelor tries very hard to keep it all respectable, you know this is what the dude is desperately trying to figure out in the short time he has.
As for me? I think I should do my own version of 'The Bachelor'. Just not end up with the whole married thing.
Maybe something like...
"The Friends with Hot Wild Kinky Benefits" show.
or hell, better yet:
"The Crazy Bitch Show"
Yeah, I like that one!
Ok... I am now officially taking applications... and don't worry, I won't kick anyone off ;)
posted by SJR at 8:44 AM
26 comments
